Getting Twisted (But Only Briefly)

We've come a long way from fig leaves and loincloths--and those of us who live in cold climates really appreciate that! But consider for a (pun intended) brief moment, how much undergarments have "evolved" over the years--maybe we've come a long way only to go TOO FAR lol. Once upon a time it was actually considered uncouth to wear anything beneath one's outerwear, especially by women. After all, they already had on plenty, with their crinolines and petticoats. And what "gentleman", in the throes of lust, could abide yet another obstacle interfering with his pursuit of pleasure? But nowadays there are any number of potential obstacles we fellahs might encounter! Everything from bloomers, thongs, tangas, full-cut briefs, french knickers, tap pants, hipsters and boycut shorts, rhumba panties, lowrise and bikini briefs, stockings, hose, garters, chastity belts--and these are all worn BELOW the waist! Imagine what the rest of her might be hiding? There are camisoles, chemises, basques, bustiers, brassieres, slips, half-slips, corsets, girdles, chainmail...Well, you get the idea lol! Before the advent of pinup calendars, Frederick's of Hollywood catalogs and Sunday supplements, most people had to rely on peepholes, whorehouses, store displays and wedding nights to discover some of the world's most amazing wonders. Now we simply have to turn on a TV set or flip through the pages of a magazine. The biggest question I have, though, is why is it mostly images of women? I don't particularly WANT to see men in jockstraps, but I'm sure a few of the women in my life would like a bit more equality on the male side of the scantily clad equation! But what's to see? Hmm, there are boxers, Y-fronts and, um, um....novelty briefs (think elephant, think trunk) lol. Not so many choices for gals to ogle as for guys. Which makes me wonder if it might be time for fig leaves and loincloths to make a comeback lol! But seriously, what gives? Even a Speedo isn't exactly sexy (at least to MY way of reckoning, you ladies might think differently lol). When was it decided that men, who supposedly rule the world, would be limited in their choice of underpants? I suppose if one has to strap on full plate armor, the question of how to relieve one's bladder conveniently is bound to arise, sooner or later. And a western chap in his chaps might find it awkward to have his testicles crammed into something not much larger than a rubberband (now really, ladies, what's with THAT!?), but is there no happy medium here? Is there no sartorial way to satisfy a man's anatomy and a woman's desires? If a cowboy can get away with wearing something so "practical" as a 10-gallon hat, why can't there be a practical, yet arousing "10-gallon sling"? One can hear Mae West asking: "Is that a pistol between your thighs are you just happy to see me?" Wait, I think I've got it: starting tomorrow I'll be testing out my new "Joey Pouch" down under! But, where else would I test it out?